


The Art of Drowning

by HalfwayToHell, werewolfsprey



Series: The Lightness of Being [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, First Time, J2, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Jared, Omega Verse, Rimming, alpha verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayToHell/pseuds/HalfwayToHell, https://archiveofourown.org/users/werewolfsprey/pseuds/werewolfsprey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared was drowning. Jensen was being buried alive. And together both of their worlds were falling apart. After his night of sin with an Alpha by the name of Jensen and the revolutionary news he was given days before, Jared feels as though everything he knew is being torn apart at the seams. Jensen develops strong feelings for Jared and he is unsure of how to go about this undiscovered territory. Although coming from different worlds, they both will suffer from the same heart aches and pain and love as they try to discover what this feeling is between the two of them and whether or not it can flourish into something they can both be happy with.  Or whether--in the end--it will tear them apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Drowning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Honeysuckle and Pine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5676124) by [HalfwayToHell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayToHell/pseuds/HalfwayToHell). 



> This is a mini-series that will be written based off of my fic "Honeysuckle and Pine". 
> 
> Playlist for The Lightness of Being Series: 
> 
> Courtney Marie Andrews- City of Roses  
> Snow Patrol- You Could Be Happy  
> Daughter- Landfill  
> James Vincent McMorrow- Red Dust  
> The Weeknd- Devil May Cry  
> Stateless- Bloodstream  
> Keaton Henson- You  
> Ben Howard- Black Flies  
> Amber Run- I Found (Acoustic version)  
> M83- Wait  
> Jamey Johnson- You Are My Sunshine  
> Jaymes Young- I'll Be Good

_ _

 

_“What do I smell like?” Jared asked, suddenly interested._

_“Mmm,” Jensen mused, flicking his tongue out against the nape of Jared’s throat, causing a shudder to pass through him. “Sweet--incredibly sweet. And flowery. Kind of like lavender or honeysuckle.” Jensen looked back up at Jared. “What do I smell like?”_

_Jared took in a deep breath, his nose filled with the scent. “_ At first _I thought it was a musty smell but that’s not it at all. It’s more earthy. Like the smell of wet dirt and pine and_ sa _\--” Jared arched his back and whimpered when he felt Jensen’s warm tongue suddenly against his oversensitive nipple. “ Saltwater.”_

_He could feel Jensen’s mouth turn up into a smile against his chest as his lips, teeth, and tongue continued to blaze a hot trail down his chest and his stomach, pausing at the line of flesh just above his jeans. Jared’s breath hitched, a hiccup of air catching in his throat as Jensen easily undid the belt buckle and button on his jeans with little effort. Jensen--being able to feel Jared trembling--crawled back up the Omega’s body until he caught Jared’s lips, his mouth soft and gentle against him, trying to soothe the nerves that were quaking beneath his skin._

_“I’ll be gentle,” Jensen’s breath wisped against Jared’s visibly quivering mouth. “I promise. I would never intentionally hurt my Omega. Just relax.”_

_Jared took in a deep breath to help quell his nerves and gave a wordless nod as means of understanding. Jensen placed a kiss to the spot between Jared’s eyes before he crawled back down his body. He effortlessly slid both Jared’s jeans and boxers from his body, discarding the clothing on the floor beside the bed._

_When Jensen had removed his clothes, Jared’s own scent hit him hard and it made his legs lock up. The green of Jensen’s eyes darkened and his nostrils flared as he breathed in the Omega’s scent but as he had promised, he was gentle with Jared._

_Jensen kissed the top of one of Jared’s kneecaps. “Relax,” The Alpha whispered against Jared’s knee and he tried his best to_ untense _his muscles in his legs, but his legs_ deemed _quite stubborn._

 _“I can’t,” replied Jared, his voice pitching in slight panic. “I’ve never done this before and I’m nervous and--and you’re a guy_ , _for Christ’s sake and I--”_

 _Jensen suddenly sank his teeth into the top of Jared’s knee cap, quickly silencing his nervous rant. It was not hard enough to break_ skin _, but it was enough to make Jared quiet and direct all his attention on him._

_“Would it be easier for you if you couldn’t see me?” inquired Jensen, placing a gentle kiss against the spot where he had bitten Jared--who nodded in response. “Then roll over.”_

_Jensen did not say it out loud, but he felt a slight twinge of disappointment that his Omega did not want to see him--but at the same time, he understood. This was a different and_ rather hostile _territory that Jared had found himself in. No matter. Jensen figured that Jared would grow more comfortable with him; he just needed the time to break-in his new mate._

_The Omega did as he was told, rolling over so that his rear was up in the air but his face was pressed into the mattress, his fingers gripping at the sheets on either side of his head. He was trying to calm his breathing when Jared felt Jensen’s lips against the flesh of his ass, placing delicate kisses against his skin._

_Jared gripped tighter at the sheets as he felt Jensen spread his ass cheeks. A sound like a hiccup or a gasp came from Jared when he felt Jensen’s warm tongue flick out, brushing against his hole. The second time he felt the Alpha’s tongue against the rim, a fragile moan pulled from Jared’s lips and he bit his lower lip before another one could come from him._

_“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Jensen said a moment later as if reading the Omega’s mind. “You can be as loud as you want. This is all about you.”_

_A delicate shade of pink touched Jared’s face, setting his cheeks on fire. He hid his face in the bed sheets, trying to drown out the obscene moans and whimpers that Jensen was able to effortlessly pull from him, but Jared couldn’t hide from it--regardless of how self-conscious or embarrassed he felt._

_Every flick of the Alpha’s tongue against his hole, every caress or kneading of Jensen’s palms against his ass cheeks and every time he spoke gently to him, Jared felt himself crawling slowly toward the edge of an orgasm--and he hadn’t had sex yet._

_When Jensen slipped a finger inside of him, Jared gasped and his muscles instantly tightened around the finger. Although he was plenty slick from being in heat, his body was not accustomed to having anything in his hole._

_“Relax,” Jensen instructed as he slowly slid his finger further into the velvety warmth of the Omega’s body._

_Jared took in a deep breath to try and calm himself until he felt the fingertip brush against the sensitive ball of nerves, causing his breath to catch and a choking moan came out instead of air. As Jensen gradually worked him up to three fingers, the Alpha tried his best to be gentle as possible with the Omega, which was made apparent in the way he was patiently working Jared open all while being sure to brush his fingers against the other’s prostate, eliciting delicious moans from him._

_When he knew that his mate was ready, Jensen slowly pulled his fingers out, causing Jared to whine low in his throat. He removed his own clothes, stripping down naked before he returned to his Omega again. Jensen placed gentle kisses against the dimples in Jared’s lower back while he stroked his own cock, the tip leaking precum._

_As Jensen slowly slid himself into the tight, velvet heat of his mate, he gripped tightly but not painfully onto the Omega’s hips, who let out a high pitched whine beneath him. A soft groan came from the Alpha as he buried himself all the way into his mate and he waited patiently for the other to become used to him before he slowly started to roll his hips, trying his best to be gentle--like he promised._

_“Oh, God,” Jared whimpered, arching his back and his hands twisted in the sheets._

_Jensen leaned forward, draping his body on top of the Omega beneath him and peppered soft kisses on the flesh stretched out over Jared’s left shoulder blade. The Alpha brushed some of the chestnut colored strands out of Jared’s face so he could see his mate’s reaction as the head of his cock prodded the Omega’s prostate._

_“Fuck,” Jared whined and he pushed himself up onto his hands so that each time Jensen_ thrusted _, he would hit his prostate. “Faster.”_

_Jensen did as his Omega asked, his hips snapping forward at a faster pace. He could feel the base of his cock slowly swelling and he knew he would knot with his mate soon--within the next few minutes if he had to guess._

_Litanies of moans and cries came from Jared. When he came, he tossed his head back, his mouth falling open as he cried out his Alpha’s name._

_“I got you, baby,” He murmured against the shell of Jared’s ear. “I got you.”_

_Jensen helped his Omega ride out his orgasm for as long as he was able to, but the feeling of Jared’s muscles tightening around him caused the base of his cock to swell fully--knotting with his mate. Jensen bit down on Jared’s shoulder as he came, the muscles in his thighs shaking._

_“Feel better?” Jensen asked his mate, lightly kissing the side of Jared’s neck._

_“Y-yeah,” panted Jared as he collapsed onto the bed._

_He heard the Alpha chuckle and he moved to lay beside him, rolling Jared over so that his back--which was sticky with sweat--pressed against Jensen’s chest. Jensen glided his fingers up and down Jared’s side, caressing his ribs leisurely as they both waited out the knot._

_Physically Jared felt much better, but as he laid there beside Jensen, he did not know what he was supposed to say to Sandy. They were engaged after all and Jared knew that circumstances had changed. Knotting with Jensen--he felt--sealed the silent agreement between an Omega and his Alpha, as if by mating with Jensen, he had accepted him as his Alpha._

  
_All Jared knew for sure was this: there was no escaping who he was meant to be nor who he was meant to be with, especially when he was currently knotted with that person._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared was drowning.

His lungs filled with water, turning the matching organs in his chest cavity to useless sacks of muscle. The lack of air to his lungs turned his body to stone; his muscles, his bones, his heart. The weight of it all caused his body to sink farther and farther into the dark, murky abyss. He fought and kicked against the current that kept shoving him down but his limbs grew too weak. He stopped fighting. As he sunk farther under the surface he closed his eyes.

When Jared opened them again, he was laying in his bed. His legs were pulled up to his chest in the fetal position and his cheek was pressed into the pillow that his arm was currently tucked underneath. Laying there in the dark room, he couldn’t feel a thing.

Jared was numb.

He couldn’t feel Sandy’s weight behind him as she slept. He couldn’t hear her steady breathing nor smell her warm vanilla perfume in their bedroom. He couldn’t feel her face as she pressed her face into the spot between his shoulder blades nor the arm that was draped across his abdomen as she clung to him in her sleep. Jared couldn’t even feel the sheets beneath his body or the cotton in the blanket that covered him.

He was totally numb—to everything; except to  _ him. _

It had been two weeks and Jared could still feel his hands and fingers on his hips, feel the hot blazing trail of his teeth, mouth, and tongue as it seared into his flesh. He could still smell him everywhere—in his clothes, his hair, his skin. He could still taste him on his mouth and tongue.

Two weeks and the only thing Jared could still feel and smell and taste was Jensen. No matter how many loads of laundry he put his clothes through or how much he scrubbed his hair in the shower or how hot the water was--sometimes so scolding that it made his flesh pink and blisters bloom on his body--or how many times he washed his mouth with the strongest--most saturated in alcohol--mint mouthwash he could find, Jared couldn’t get away from Jensen--or the essence of him, at least. 

As he laid there, Jared knew that going to Jensen had been an awful idea. It was more than just awful, it was possibly the most asinine thing he had ever done. Of course at the time, Jared didn’t think much of it. He just wanted the night sweats and pain to go away but now he was having to stew in his regret. 

He still hadn’t told Sandy--about any of it. About how after a few days following their engagement party, he sought Jensen out. About how he gave consent to allow another man to touch him in ways he’d never let them before. About how he knotted with Jensen and how an infinitesimal part of him actually  _ enjoyed _ it.

All of this and more and yet, Jared couldn’t bring himself to tell Sandy. There was a part of him that wished that Sandy already knew, so to spare him from having to tell her himself. To spare himself from having to see the look of utter heartbreak so palpable on her face. He knew Sandy hadn’t the slightest clue--or maybe she had because even Jared had noticed he had been distant these past couple of weeks--but even if she had an idea, he wondered how much she suspected.

In the end, Jared knew it did not matter; what mattered was how he was going to go about this situation. Legally, Jensen had a right to him, based on the ABO’s silent yet legal understanding between them and the mundanes. 

Other than the fact that he had knotted with Jensen--which was considered a legal binding contract between an Omega and an Alpha--Jared had been spending hours researching the books in his office or on the Internet, trying to find some way to get out of this unspoken, yet legal binding between him and Jensen. 

In all of his research, Jared couldn’t find a way that did not require either of them engaging in an intense legal battle--except one. It was a matter of convincing Jensen to go along with it is part of the reason that kept him up at night, unable to sleep while Jared tried to devise a plan to get Jensen to agree--

“Jared?” Sandy asked him, pulling him from his deep reverie. Her voice was soft and gravelly from sleep. “What’s wrong, baby? You’re shaking.”

It was not until she had mentioned it, that Jared realized he was--in fact--shaking. His muscles trembled slightly beneath his tawny skin and now that he noticed he was doing it, Jared’s body ached, all the way down to the marrow of his bones. He shifted around until he was facing Sandy, his arm propping up his head as he stared at her lightly silhouetted face in the rays of the silver moonlight that poured in through the curtains.

Jared gave her a false, reassuring smile and he was secretly glad that she could not see him clearly in the pitch dark of the bedroom. “I’m fine. I promise.” He reached out and brushed her soft chocolate colored strands back behind her ear, allowing his hand to linger against the side of her cheek as means to hopefully convince her to drop the subject. 

She didn’t.

“Are you sure? You’ve been…” Sandy allowed her sentence to trail off as she reached up, placing her hand on top of his. “Distant.”

Jared closed his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts, taking in a deep breath before he responded to her. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just this case I’m working on is a really big deal and it would be a good win for my career.” Sensing that she was not at all satisfied with his answer, Jared leaned in to gently brush his lips against her forehead and he spoke into her skin. “It has nothing to do with us. I promise.” Being this close to her, Jared could still not smell her warm vanilla perfume and it was causing worry to root itself deep in his gut.

Sandy was silent. The weight of his words caused the air in the room to grow stuffy and unbearably warm. Jared hated--no-- _ despised _ lying to Sandy but he figured the less she knew the better. At least at that point in time. Eventually he would have to tell her the extent of his knowledge but he found no point in giving her this heavy information just yet. 

“Okay,” She replied after a few moments of silence. “I just hope they aren’t pushing you too hard. You’re just one man, Jared,” At this, she took in her own deep breath. “But I’m glad that we’re okay.”

“We are. Don’t you worry about that.” His tongue was like lead in his mouth as the lies continued to roll off his lips like venom. “Just go back to sleep.”

Sandy moved closer to him and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. Jared wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in his body heat.

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” replied Jared softly and he kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Long after Sandy had fallen asleep--the sound of her soft breathing filling the room--Jared still couldn’t bring himself to sleep. He was restless and exhausted all at the same time. His eyes burned from fatigue but the rest of his body was as awake as a live wire. 

Now it wasn’t just the events from weeks ago that kept him awake but his conversation with Sandy. When Jared had told her he loved her, it felt empty--false. Before when he said those three words, it was full of sincerity and warmth and surety. Now? Those words were as void and null as he felt.

_ I am drowning and I cannot save myself. _

Jared forced his eyes closed, trying to coax his body into allowing him some hours of sleep before he’d have to be at the office. As the heavy hand of sleep pulled him into the peaceful black abyss, the only scent that reached Jared’s nose was wet earth, the sharp tang of pine and saltwater.  

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was being buried alive.

Instead of his lungs filling with dirt, his were being filled with concrete. The earthy taste coated the inside of his mouth and it choked off any cries of help that had tried to escape from his throat. His limbs grew heavy and his body started to still as the concrete began to set, encasing him in a concrete tomb to which he could not escape. 

It was either the metaphorical concrete that was causing his body and mind to grow heavy and incoherent or the many shots of whiskey he had just taken in a very short amount time but Jensen could not move from where he was rooted to his couch. There was an insignificant part of him that did not will himself to even leave the safe confines of the couch. 

Fourteen days had passed since the last time Jensen had seen Jared and yet, he could still smell the sweet and floral scent of honeysuckle in his studio apartment. He could smell it in his sheets, the scent permanently soaking itself through to the cotton fibers of the sheets and into the cushions of the mattress. The scent had not only found its home in his bed but in his carpet and floors and walls and curtains. There was nowhere for Jensen to escape from the scent of Jared--his Omega, his mate.  _ His. _

“When were you planning on telling me that you finally knotted with someone? Or did something that important slip your mind?” Misha asked him from across the way, lounging leisurely in the loveseat. 

The Alpha sat with one leg folded over the other and his finger absentmindedly traced the rim of the shot glass he held, the honey gold liquid still there as if he hadn’t bothered to take the shot. Which Jensen supposed that could very well be the case but he was not paying attention to his friend--his fellow Alpha--until Misha had spoken up.

Jensen frowned, his mossy irises taking on a sharp edge of possessiveness at the mention of his Omega. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He answered, his tone flat and dull as a worn-down blade as he took a shot of whiskey. The alcohol went down his throat like tar and tasted of gasoline on his tongue, causing him to grimace.  

Misha raised a dark eyebrow, his lapis lazuli eyes meeting the other Alpha’s. “It reeks of a Beta in heat. There’s no point in lying to me, Jensen.”

Jensen set the shot glass down on the coffee table and leaned back, folding his arms across his chest as he regarded the other Alpha with a set jaw. It was incredibly rare for him to see Misha this way. Anyone who associated themselves with Jensen, knew that Misha was far from the serious man that was sitting across from him. Misha was much like a pup in the sense that he had so much energy--as well as the attention span--that sometimes Jensen forgot that his friend could be as serious as he was now. 

Jensen bit the inside of his cheek, mulling the idea over. He should tell Misha. After all, he was the first one Misha came to when he spoke of his first knotting. Though his friend was a bit older than him and it was expected that Misha would knot with someone far before him, whether Jensen wanted to willingly admit it, a part of him was embarrassed that Jared was the very first Omega or Beta he had knotted with--or person he had knotted with period. Given his own age, Jensen should have knotted many times in the past but it was his reserved personality and lifestyle that kept him from doing so.    

“Fine,” Jensen resolved with a reluctant sigh. “I had an Omega over.”

“An Omega?” repeated Misha and he did not hide the surprise in his voice. “That’s--” He paused at this to tilt his head, his eyes squinting as Misha inspected Jensen for a moment before the signature goofy grin he usually wore crawled across his lips. “That’s impressive. Not only is it your first time knotting but it’s with an Omega. I’ll have to admit that I am a bit jealous.” Misha raised the glass in his hand as a means of congratulations before tossing the whiskey back with a smooth flick of his wrist.

At this, Jensen forced himself to smile. Most believed that among the ABO community, that Omegas were fairly popular but that was not the case at all. In fact, Omegas only made up a very limited percentage. If an Alpha was to knot with anyone at all, nine out of ten times it would be with a Beta. Jensen had to admit that he was incredibly lucky--if not slightly blessed--that the first person he knotted with was an Omega, especially one that he had such strong feelings for. 

“Don’t be.” Jensen’s smile quickly shifted into a frown. “He doesn’t seem to like me very much.”

“He?” Misha’s smile--which could be nothing more than shit eating in Jensen’s eyes--widened. “Well well. This couldn’t be the tall beauty with the glorious locks that you have been pining after is it?” When Jensen avoided the other Alpha’s gaze for only a moment, it had confirmed his friend’s theory. “Why do you say that?”

“It’s been two weeks. I haven’t gotten a phone call or any sign from him that he has even taken to me at all.”

“But you two knotted, correct?” Misha inquired and at that Jensen nodded. “Well then by law that means he accepted you as his Alpha.”

“By law, yes,” replied Jensen, wearily running his hands over his tired face. “But Jared is different than any other person that I have met before. He’s not like us.”

“What do you mean?”

Jensen sighed and ran his fingers through his short hair, trying to find a way to explain this to his friend. He couldn’t tell Misha how Jared was acting after they had knotted. The way Jared seemed to shrink against his touch as if he did not want Jensen anywhere near him. Or the way that Jared was unable to keep eye contact with him for very long. Or the way the moment he was unknotted from the Alpha that Jared quickly dressed and left. Jensen didn’t need Jared to tell him how he felt because he knew--he knew Jared regretted it. 

There was even an insignificant part of Jensen that regretted it as well; however that part of him was drowned out by his natural, possessive nature as an Alpha--the part of him that wanted Jared as his own. Just his and no one else’s. Jensen did not want to share him with anyone else, especially his Omega’s current fiance. 

Treading lightly, Jensen licked his bottom lip before he began to explain to Misha the current situation at hand. “Jared didn’t know he was an Omega and after I told him--” He paused then, remembering the pale pallor of Jared’s skin when he first staked claim to him during the Omega’s and his fiance’s engagement party. All Jensen could read was the mixture of disbelief and nausea that radiated off of him. 

Jensen shook his head and he continued. “Let’s just say that a few days after I told him what he was, he showed up on my front door. During his first heating cycle for Christ’s sake. And I mean, Jared should have had his first heating years ago. Not in his mid to late twenties. He’s more than just a late bloomer, Misha. I dunno what is going on with him.”

The other Alpha nodded and open-mindedly took in the information. “Honestly, Jensen. I think you just need to be assertive and try to explain to him how this works. After all, he did knot with you. And there is no way of getting out of that now. Unless of course, you don’t feel that you two are meant to be mated for life?”

It was not a question that Jensen had truly thought of. He did know that he loved Jared but if he confessed that to Misha, he would call him foolish and in a way, Jensen knew that to be true. After all, how could he love someone who he’s only met a few times and to whom he knew virtually nothing about? But he wanted to know everything about Jared. 

He wanted to know how Jared slept at night and what he sounded like when he would wake the next morning. He wanted to know what Jared looked like caught in a rainstorm and how the water droplets would fall from his eyelashes. He wanted to know what the sound of Jared’s heart beat would be like. Hell. Jensen wanted to know even the small things like what Jared’s favorite creamer is or whether he prefers his coffee black with just sugar.

Jensen wanted to know all of this and more. How else could any emotion explain the way he felt other than love? Infatuation could be the closest emotion that he felt about Jared but love sounded like the better option. Love had a truer ring to it.

“I don’t know,” Jensen admitted after a while. “But you are probably right, Misha. I just need to be more assertive.”

Whether Jared liked it or not, Jensen had chosen him as his Omega. He truly believed that maybe if he showed or explained to Jared how he felt, perhaps that would make this transition easier. Regardless of how long it took for Jared to become comfortable with this idea, Jensen knew one thing and one thing only: Jared was  _ his  _ mate and  _ he _ had chosen Jensen as his Alpha. 

And in the end, that’s all that mattered.  


End file.
